


you aren't safe here

by ramify



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath, Cannibalism, Dream Sex, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Smut, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Wendigo Josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:45:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7456771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramify/pseuds/ramify
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>God, he was hungry. The memory of her perfume settled the wrong way in his stomach, but he didn't care enough to be disgusted with his thoughts. He was so hungry and that rotting corpse he could smell from halfway across the mines was beginning to appeal to him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sober and in a very sour mood, so I wrote this. This is the [song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h8JEUzpIItk) from the story, if you are interested. I highly recommend you listen to it and become obsessed with the band.

_Under the autumn tree_  
_The chair where you would swing_  
_A yard so full of leaves_  
_comfort me_

 

 

He missed her smell. Of course, there were many other things about her that he missed, but it was her perfume on her skin that he longed for the most. Sometimes he would catch wafts of it in the mines, which confused him. Why would someone so bright and beautiful be in such a dark and awful place? No, this hell wasn't meant for her. It was meant for him—this was his punishment. He'd follow the smell until it disappeared and he was left feeling hopeless once more.

 

 

 _A man that resembles me_  
Watching his young lady sleep  
Now I'm off to dream  
comforts me

 

 

There were nights (or were they days? He couldn't tell anymore) where he dreamed about touching her once again. His dreams wandered into unknown territory, breasts flush against a warm chest. Their stomachs pressed firmly together. Hands wandering and feeling bare skin. Gentle kisses along the skin that always smelled of a certain perfume, and soft giggles because she was sensitive to touch. She would moan as he filled her, their bodies rocking slowly at first and then the pace quickening. She would take control of him because that was exactly something she would do and he would love every single second of it. Fingers tightly entangled in his hair. She would be so warm around him, like summer sun peaking through the blinds on a Saturday morning.

 

Her voice would be quiet and he wouldn't be able understand her, but he knew she was telling him that this was meant to be—they were meant to be. Until suddenly she was angry and leaving. He would wake and the emptiness would take over.

 

They weren't meant to be. What was meant to be was this, here, right now. He was paying his dues and he deserved every ounce of pain.

 

God, he was hungry. The memory of her perfume settled the wrong way in his stomach, but he didn't care enough to be disgusted with his thoughts. He was so hungry and that rotting corpse he could smell from halfway across the mines was beginning to appeal to him.

 

 

 _Is this my old shape, my mind is away,_  
How long have you been gone?  
The cold winter aged the soft of your face  
and I can't move on

 

 

Something smelled good. Not as good as her, but it smelled _alive_. He followed it until he saw the light. Finally, after all this time, he found a way out. How long had he been down here? Had he suffered enough? Beth and Hannah told him otherwise.

 

 _You deserve so much more. You let us die_ , they whispered in his ear. Even though they were only whispers, their voices bounced off the walls, echoing down into the deepest parts of the mines. It wasn't enough to hold him back. The smell was just too enticing.

 

The moonlight hit his body and he shook with excitement as he let out a laugh. It was like gravel underneath tires, the scraping of rocks against each other, and sounded nothing like him, but he didn't have time to think about what he should sound like. He was running faster than he'd ever run before toward whatever smelled so... So _delicious_.

 

 

 _Market morning sun_  
_Fish from an early hunt_  
_I wait but you're gone_  
_linger on_

 

 

The memory of her still clung tightly onto his heart as if she were trying to keep herself alive within him. He wondered where she was right now, but he had enough sense to know she wasn't safe around him. Really, he wasn't sure why the thought came to him—that she wasn't safe, but it did and it stuck. It burned him enough to cut through his skin and embed the thought in his mind like a tattoo. She was far away. She was gone, but at least she was safe.

 

 

 _Is this my old shape, my mind is away,_  
_How long have you been gone?_  
_The cold winter aged the soft of your face_  
_and I can't move on_

 

 

Sometimes he'd cry. The others didn't seem to understand and they still tried to rip him apart. It only angered him and was the cause of their demise. If they only left him alone, they would be safe too. If only they understood, then maybe they could help, but it was like they weren't human anymore.

Was he even human at this point?

 

The light from the moon beamed down into the mines through a crevasse in the cliffs above and he caught his reflection in a pool of stagnant, dirty water. In the water looking back at him, was no longer a man—wrong choice of words, he'd never been quite a man. Still a child, but the fact remained the same. He tried to blink the image away—it had to be a hallucination, but it was still there, or rather _he_ was still there. He tried to speak, but his voice was not his voice. In fact, it wasn't a voice at all. It wasn't human. He wasn't human.

 

She wouldn't be safe.

She wouldn't be safe.

She wouldn't be safe.

 

 

 _Linger on_  
_Linger on_  
_I can't move on_

 

 

She was still with him in his mind. Everything else faded to black, unimportant to him now that he was fueled by this persistent need to eat all the time, but she was still there. He still thought about her perfume, the dimples in her smile, the freckles scattered along her nose. He still dreamed about her touch and her voice. Her voice. It was still clear in his mind. Very clear. Almost too clear.

 

He stopped abruptly and rose his head high, outstretching his neck as he smelled the air. There was a smell that was all too familiar, and his body shuddered—with fear? No, with excitement.

 

Her voice again. Louder now, closer. He left the body of some wanderer, torn to shreds by his hands, and slowly lurked around the corner. Hiding in the shadows and crawling on the walls, he listened intently to her voice. She said his name, and then she paused for a minute and twelve seconds, and she said his name once more.

 

The smell of her perfume didn't settle right in his stomach, but he couldn't help himself. She just smelled too good, too sweet.

 

She wasn't safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you. Oh, take me back to the night we met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [listen to this song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlgYxa6BMU) and cry your heart out as you think about Josh and Sam.

_I am not the only traveler_

_who has not repaid his debt_

_I've been searching for a trail to follow again_

_take me back to the night we met_

 

 

Sam held out her thumb at the edge of the street. Behind her was a sixteen year old car that finally broke down on her and ahead of her was a nearly vacant road, a car passing every twenty minutes or so. The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky in beautiful shades of purple, but she didn't have time to admire it. Night was approaching and she was surrounded by a dense forest. A panic settled in the pit of her stomach as the sun sank beyond the horizon. She didn't have much time now.

 

A semi truck approached her, pulling over off the side of the road and the man leaned over to open the door for her. She nodded thankfully and pulled herself up into the cabin. Most people would be afraid to get in a stranger's vehicle, but most people haven't seen what she has seen. She'd take a strange man over an eerie forest any day and she wouldn't have any second thoughts about it.

 

"Where are you goin', baby?" The trucker said, eyeing her legs before pulling back onto the road.

 

"Blackwood Pines, it's about ten more miles north."

 

The man laughed, and she couldn't think of anything that would be funny about Blackwood. "Sure thing, sweetheart."

 

 

_and then I can tell myself_

_what the hell I'm supposed to do?_

_and then I can tell myself_

_not to ride along with you_

 

 

She kept her eyes out the window, intensely watching the forest with suspicion as they grew closer to her destination. Every little thing that moved in the dense wood had her on edge, and she almost wondered if she would be safe inside the semi. The stranger's journal was safely secured inside of her satchel and she reminded herself that it stated the creatures she was so afraid of do not leave the mountains. It didn't give her much comfort.

 

Forcing herself not to think about the incredibly stupid thing she was about to do, she thought of better days. Josh's name slipped from her lips, but the trucker didn't seem to notice over the soft blur of the radio. There were so many memories she could have thought of. Josh and his sisters were a constant for her—they had always been there and then they suddenly weren't. Her heart was heavy and she wished more than anything she could have them back. Hannah, Beth, Josh... _Josh_. Hell, she would completely erase his sick prank from her memory if it meant she could hold him one more time.

 

She closed her eyes and thought of the first time they met. It was nearly four years ago and she could still smell the freshly cut grass, feel the warmth of a fire, taste her first kiss. _Josh_. A stupid dare that lead to four years of pining over a complex boy, but she didn't regret a single minute. If anything, she wish she had done more for him, but no one talked about it. It was as if his mental state was taboo amongst the Washington household. How could she do anything about something she knew next to nothing about?

 

 _You could have done so much more_ , she whispered to herself. This time the trucker heard her and turned down the radio. "What was that, princess?"

 

"Nothing."

 

She has a debt to repay—even if the cost was her life.

 

 

_I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you_

_take me back to the night we met_

_I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you_

_oh, take me back to the night we met_

 

 

The trucker was almost unwilling to let her go, and attempted to convince her to spend the night with him. Sam politely declined and the man reluctantly drove off, leaving her at the base of the mountain. She looked up at the gates, remembering that only a few months ago she had been in this same exact spot and she had expected nothing more than a few nights of awkward conversations. The events that actually took place that night left her with nightmares and she hasn't had a decent nights rest in nearly two months.

 

Sam reached into her bag and pulled out the key to the cable car—the last thing Josh had given her. Perhaps she should have given it to the police like Mike had suggested, but for some reason she kept quiet about it and Mike just went along with it. Maybe he pitied her. Maybe he knew that she was in love with the severely unstable boy. Maybe he kept quiet because he no longer had anything to remind him of Jessica.

 

It took her a half hour to gain the courage to make the journey up the mountain and another ten minutes to finally get there. She sat in the cable car for a few moments to regain herself as she took short, sporadic breaths. How was she supposed to do this? Why did she have to do this? She wasn't brave—she couldn't do this. She couldn't do it.

 

 _You need to. You owe it to him. You did nothing before and if he's turned into one of those things, you will have failed him all over._ She hated that awful voice in her head because it was right.

 

She stepped out of the cable car and headed toward the mines.

 

 

_when the night was full of terror_

_and your eyes were filled with tears_

_when you had not touched me yet_

_oh take me back to the night we met_

 

 

"I'm a little nervous."

 

"Don't worry. So am I."

 

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

 

"Are you saying you don't want me to kiss you?"

 

"Absolutely not—no. I definitely want you to kiss me."

 

The tears that poured from her eyes froze to her cheeks the higher she climbed up the mountain. It was a shame that was the only kiss they'd ever shared. There were so many moments in the past four years—so many times she wished she had told him she loved him. When he smiled at her and leaned a little closer after saying something sly, she could have gently grabbed the back of his neck. Her fingers would have grazed his hair as she pulled him down and she would have pressed her soft lips against his—and his lips would be chapped but full because that was what she remembered.

 

A screech pulled her from her thoughts as she reached one of the entrances to the mines and her heart pounded against her chest. She was quick to pull out her homemade molotov cocktail and a lighter before she forced herself to delve into the mines. The dim glow of the zippo didn't help with how dark it was, but her eyes were quick to adjust. Another screech caused her to drop the flame and it took her a few moments of panic to find it.

 

"Josh?"

 

He was probably dead, and she hoped he was. This wasn't what he deserved, no matter what the others said. Living like that— _was it even living, really?_ —she could imagine it was a worse fate than the flames of hell. She wandered further into the mines, weaving through the maze.

 

"Josh?"

 

She was only drawing attention to herself, but that was the point, wasn't it? Her heart was banging on her chest, trying to break free and she wanted so badly to run away. This was too much and she wasn't sure if she could keep going on. Every part of her mind and body screamed for her to turn— _just run! You aren't brave enough!_

 

Just when she decided she'd had enough, Sam heard a quiet rustling, the sound of rock and dirt being pushed against, and she froze. It was too late.

 

 

_I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you_

_take me back to the night we met_

_I don't know what I'm supposed to do haunted by the ghost of you_

_take me back to the night we met_

 

She turned around slowly, following the direction of the sound and she raised the zippo. It took everything she had not to scream at the sight before her. He looked nothing like himself although she knew the others would argue that his outward appearance finally reflected the monster inside of him. She would argue that he wasn't a monster. She would make excuses for him and she would tell them that he wasn't in his right mind.

 

There was another screech and this time it came from his outstretched and jagged mouth. Perhaps all of those terrible noises from earlier had come from him, but he still sounded human. She could hear him in that awful noise and it scared her. It was him. He must still be here.

 

"Josh?" There was hope in her voice. There was talk of a cure in the journal and maybe she could fix this. She could fix all of this and she could take him home.

 

He could be safe.

He could be safe.

He could be safe.

 

She took a step forward.

 

Josh snarled and hunched his back, ready to attack. Her lip quivered as she realized Josh was gone. He was gone and all that was left was a monster.

 

Sam took a step back and lit the cocktail. She didn't even care if she made it out alive.


End file.
